Quit Being Lazy

Men….I am talking to you. I know that 2020 was an unprecedented year, unlike anything we have been through. But that is no excuse. I know because I have fallen in that trap as well. The truth is that our wives need us. They need us now probably more than ever.

Over the next several days, maybe weeks, I want to share about marriage. Last year, I committed to Jessica that we would attend a marriage retreat at least once every quarter. Not because we needed it but because we wanted it. There is something about attending an intimate weekend marriage retreat with your spouse that can not be replicated.

Unfortunately, we were not able to attend any last year due to the pandemic. I am not sure about Jess but I know that I could feel it. I could actually feel the effects of not attending a conference last year. But we are finally able to attend a conference this month. We are excited to attend Romance Uncovered this year and hope to make it one of our yearly conferences to attend.

Leading up to our conference in a couple weeks, I want to share 10 tips to effectively date your spouse. These are tips that I have learned and believe they can greatly improve your married, dating life. I hate to admit it but I struggle with effectively dating my spouse as well. I will share 1 tip a day for the next 10 days.

  1. Do not be lazy. Think. Prepare. Act. Dating your spouse takes planning. It takes thoughtful preparation. Think back to before you were married, How much time and effort did you put into planning each and every date you went on? I would venture to bet that you have not put that much planning into a date night with your spouse since you have been married.

The craving of a sluggard will be the death of him,
    because his hands refuse to work. – Proverbs 21:25

When it comes to working on our marriage relationships so they grow stronger, too many of us treat it with a “whatever…” attitude. But realize:

“Love is a choice. So choose to love your spouse well. Remember that they are not the same person they were when you met them. Nor are you. So while you may think you know a lot about them, there may be new things to discover if you have the courage to go there.” (Mark Merrill)

And it does take courage. It also takes gumption and grit to challenge yourself when you’ve let yourself fall into the trap of marital complacency. Additionally, you will need to get to a place of “mindfulness.” You will need a “made up mind” in order to fight a lazy marriage attitude.

“Dr. John Gottman states that ‘couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice.’ So, if you absentmindedly leave laundry on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink, it most likely isn’t with malicious intent. In fact, there probably isn’t any intent on your part, but rather a lack of mindfulness about your partner’s needs to have a clean house, which could lead to a conflict. To minimize or avoid that conflict, practice daily mindfulness about what your partner needs from you.” (The Gottman Institute

So this is a wakeup call to all of us. Are you (are we) ready to mix things up a bit? Look for ways to bless your spouse. Ask him or her if there is anything you can do within the next few days that will bless them.

That will certainly wake up him or her. It could actually introduce excitement. They may be confused for a few moments. But after they shake off the confusion, they could get quite excited. It’s like, “What do you mean? Is this a trick question? Do you mean I didn’t have to nag, or push at you to do this?” THAT’S a blessing in itself, but don’t stop there. Actually do what they ask of you.

And then look for other ways to take your marriage to a new level. Flirt with your spouse. Keep in mind that your marriage CAN be crippled by apathy. It can also die from boredom. Don’t let this happen. Look for ways to stir things up (in pleasant ways). You did this when you were dating each other. Just make a point of looking for ways to do this now that you are married.

There is still time to sign up to join us in Branson at the end of this month for Romance Uncensored. Click on the link here to sign up.

Because Your Spouse Matters

Kris

Men…Lets Be Honest.

Men…Let’s be honest. 2020 was not our year. We made excuses as to why we could not complete our goals. We failed in our priorities. We failed to lead as we were called to do. As we look back, we can see that in nearly every aspect of our lives, 2020 had some sort of impact, mostly negative I am sure. What is ironic about last year being 2020 is that 20/20 signifies perfect vision. When it comes to our vision and eye sight, we all want 20/20 and we want to be able to achieve that without any sort of corrective lenses. But the truth is that many of us still need corrective lenses to achieve 20/20 vision.

My goal for 2021 this year is to grow in many facets of my life this year. I hope to grow more as a

husband

father

entrepreneur

friend

mentor

In order to achieve that growth, I am developing a Growth Plan for 2021. I am not sure yet what it will look like. I hope that it will include some type of mentorship with other men for accountability.

A growth plan is a kind of a guideline, that helps to show the skills one needs to acquire and the goals one needs to achieve by changing the way of your life in a positive direction. Besides, planning about the future gives you better control over their life. Also, it helps to guide them on days when they feel demotivated and down. Having a personal growth plan helps in finding out how effective one is in their everyday life. 

If you would be interested in being a part of a mentorship/accountability group, let me know.

Because People Matter,

Kris

Influential Generation

Books

Just food for thought-

In Thom and Jess Rainers’ book “The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation,” They suggest that the Millennial Generation (those born between 1980-2000) has become the most influential generation.  Over 78 millions births occurred between 1980-2000.

What does this mean?  This means that people from the ages of 11 years old to 31 years old have surpassed the Baby Boomers and have become the leading influence in America today.

What are you doing to reach this generation?  Churches can not afford to miss out on the opportunity to reach this generation.  I believe that if we are going to reach the world for Christ, we must start with reaching the Millennial Generation.

 

Share your thoughts!!!

 

Because People Matter-

Kris

Spiritual Markers

Markers 

 

We are getting ready to start the second half of the year. 

As I think about the fact that we are almost to June, I look back over my life to reflect how my life is different now than what it was at the beginning of the year.  I look back at the "Spiritual Markers" in my life to be able to see where I have grown and where I have not grown.

What is your spiritual growth plan? 

How is God using you this year?

Will your life be any different at the end of the year than it was at the beginning?

What are the spiritual markers in your life?

Do you know how to recognize them?

How are you keeping track of your spiritual growth?

 

Because People Matter,

Kris

32,000ft above!!!!

As I am writing this post, I am 32,000 feet above somewhere between Incirlik Airbase, Turkey and Ramstein Airbase, Germany. It was a little less than a year ago that I was in the same area only headed in the other direction. A lot has gone on over the last year. I have been in Afghanistan since 18 December 2010. I have traveled all over Zabul Province in Southern Afghanistan. I have made many new friends and seen a lot of interesting places. This trip was a little bittersweet as I knew that it would be the beginning to the end of my 12 year military career. My contract is up in early 2013 and I have decided that I will not re-enlist for a 3rd time. I have spent 3 years in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 10 years of serving in the military. I am excited to see what the future holds and I am also excited to announce that for the first time ever, I have developed a Game Plan for Life. This plan includeds aspects of where I am at now in my life and a direction and guidance on where I want to go and be in as much as 3 years. I have developed a Vision Statement for my life in 2012 that will help my to stay on track with my Game Plan. I have also developed 7 Core Values that I believe are a neccessity in my life. I have also enrolled in school full-time for the first time ever and look forward to furthering my educational knowledge. I will share my Vision Statement and Core Values later in another post. I just wanted to share these things with you while I was 32,000 ft in the air.

Blessings
love God.love people
Kris

Influential Genereation

Books

Just food for thought-

In Thom and Jess Rainers’ book “The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation,” They suggest that the Millennial Generation (those born between 1980-2000) has become the most influential generation.  Over 78 millions births occurred between 1980-2000.

What does this mean?  This means that people from the ages of 11 years old to 31 years old have surpassed the Baby Boomers and have become the leading influence in America today.

What are you doing to reach this generation?  Churches can not afford to miss out on the opportunity to reach this generation.  I believe that if we are going to reach the world for Christ, we must start with reaching the Millennial Generation.

 

Share your thoughts!!!

 

Because People Matter-

Kris

Spiritual Markers

Markers 

 

We are getting ready to start the second half of the year. 

As I think about the fact that we are almost to June, I look back over my life to reflect how my life is different now than what it was at the beginning of the year.  I look back at the "Spiritual Markers" in my life to be able to see where I have grown and where I have not grown.

What is your spiritual growth plan? 

How is God using you this year?

Will your life be any different at the end of the year than it was at the beginning?

What are the spiritual markers in your life?

Do you know how to recognize them?

How are you keeping track of your spiritual growth?

 

Because People Matter,

Kris