Quit Being Lazy

Men….I am talking to you. I know that 2020 was an unprecedented year, unlike anything we have been through. But that is no excuse. I know because I have fallen in that trap as well. The truth is that our wives need us. They need us now probably more than ever.

Over the next several days, maybe weeks, I want to share about marriage. Last year, I committed to Jessica that we would attend a marriage retreat at least once every quarter. Not because we needed it but because we wanted it. There is something about attending an intimate weekend marriage retreat with your spouse that can not be replicated.

Unfortunately, we were not able to attend any last year due to the pandemic. I am not sure about Jess but I know that I could feel it. I could actually feel the effects of not attending a conference last year. But we are finally able to attend a conference this month. We are excited to attend Romance Uncovered this year and hope to make it one of our yearly conferences to attend.

Leading up to our conference in a couple weeks, I want to share 10 tips to effectively date your spouse. These are tips that I have learned and believe they can greatly improve your married, dating life. I hate to admit it but I struggle with effectively dating my spouse as well. I will share 1 tip a day for the next 10 days.

  1. Do not be lazy. Think. Prepare. Act. Dating your spouse takes planning. It takes thoughtful preparation. Think back to before you were married, How much time and effort did you put into planning each and every date you went on? I would venture to bet that you have not put that much planning into a date night with your spouse since you have been married.

The craving of a sluggard will be the death of him,
    because his hands refuse to work. – Proverbs 21:25

When it comes to working on our marriage relationships so they grow stronger, too many of us treat it with a “whatever…” attitude. But realize:

“Love is a choice. So choose to love your spouse well. Remember that they are not the same person they were when you met them. Nor are you. So while you may think you know a lot about them, there may be new things to discover if you have the courage to go there.” (Mark Merrill)

And it does take courage. It also takes gumption and grit to challenge yourself when you’ve let yourself fall into the trap of marital complacency. Additionally, you will need to get to a place of “mindfulness.” You will need a “made up mind” in order to fight a lazy marriage attitude.

“Dr. John Gottman states that ‘couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice.’ So, if you absentmindedly leave laundry on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink, it most likely isn’t with malicious intent. In fact, there probably isn’t any intent on your part, but rather a lack of mindfulness about your partner’s needs to have a clean house, which could lead to a conflict. To minimize or avoid that conflict, practice daily mindfulness about what your partner needs from you.” (The Gottman Institute

So this is a wakeup call to all of us. Are you (are we) ready to mix things up a bit? Look for ways to bless your spouse. Ask him or her if there is anything you can do within the next few days that will bless them.

That will certainly wake up him or her. It could actually introduce excitement. They may be confused for a few moments. But after they shake off the confusion, they could get quite excited. It’s like, “What do you mean? Is this a trick question? Do you mean I didn’t have to nag, or push at you to do this?” THAT’S a blessing in itself, but don’t stop there. Actually do what they ask of you.

And then look for other ways to take your marriage to a new level. Flirt with your spouse. Keep in mind that your marriage CAN be crippled by apathy. It can also die from boredom. Don’t let this happen. Look for ways to stir things up (in pleasant ways). You did this when you were dating each other. Just make a point of looking for ways to do this now that you are married.

There is still time to sign up to join us in Branson at the end of this month for Romance Uncensored. Click on the link here to sign up.

Because Your Spouse Matters

Kris

What is on your 2021 reading list?

We all know that 2020 was definitely the year to forget. For many it was a year of heartbreak, loss and mourning. For others it was a year of growth and perseverance. I am thankful that we have closed the 2020 chapter and opened a new one here in 2021.

So in looking ahead for 2021, I am needing to update my reading list. I am looking for your recommendations and want to know what must be on my list for 2021 in the following topic areas.

Leadership

Productivity

Entrepreneurship

Faith

Marriage

Because People Matter,

Kris

Influential Generation

Books

Just food for thought-

In Thom and Jess Rainers’ book “The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation,” They suggest that the Millennial Generation (those born between 1980-2000) has become the most influential generation.  Over 78 millions births occurred between 1980-2000.

What does this mean?  This means that people from the ages of 11 years old to 31 years old have surpassed the Baby Boomers and have become the leading influence in America today.

What are you doing to reach this generation?  Churches can not afford to miss out on the opportunity to reach this generation.  I believe that if we are going to reach the world for Christ, we must start with reaching the Millennial Generation.

 

Share your thoughts!!!

 

Because People Matter-

Kris

Mosaic Story

Being transparent is not something that comes easy to me. However, with the work that God is doing in my life, He demands total transparency. I know that after I share this I will have some critics, some who doubt what I say and hopefully some encourager’s. There was a time in my life that I walked away from God and ultimately walked away from my family and marriage. I was only concerned about Kris and what he wanted. In doing so, I found myself in an affair. I didn’t care how it affected my marriage or my family, I was simply living in the moment. I deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan 3 times and had decided that I could take care of myself and did not need God. In the end, I lost my marriage and my family. It was then that I realized how important God was needed in my life. I moved from Greenwood to Fort Smith after arriving home from Afghanistan. I started a new chapter in my life and began to seek Gods plan and will for my life. My relationship with my kids was restored and I love daddy weekends with my babies. I met a very Godly woman and just recently started a new chapter together with her in marriage. I moved out of my apartment in Fort Smith and we have a house in Van Buren The Lord has been stirring my heart for something great for Him. It has kept me up at night and at times made it hard not to shout it out. The Lord has been burdening and stirring my heart about the number who people who have given up on church or been burned by church or who simply think they are to “bad” for church. They are over 22,000 people in Van Buren and an estimated 40% who are unchurched. That equates to around 8,000 unchurched people. This passion and vision that I truly believe the Lord has placed on my life is to plant a new church here in Van Buren: “Mosaic Van Buren”. A mosaic is a piece of art made up of broken pieces of glass and ceramic of different colors and shapes, and we are just like that…….a bunch of broken people of different cultures and backgrounds and different stories brought together to create God’s perfect art. It is my prayer and desire for God to use me as He wishes. We are in the prenatal stages of Mosaic Van Buren. There was a message at church a few weeks back that was a convicting one for me in that I must allow God to use me regardless of what I have done. God has a plan to use me and if I tell God NO and do not allow Him to use me then He will find someone else who says YES.

I have since learned that ALL I have is God and I seek to serve Him with my whole being. I have always known that God has called me to ministry but everyone around me told me that I was no longer fit because of my actions and the decisions that I made, especially after my affair and divorce. Some critics are even worse now that I am married again.

I have this passion and vision to to reach the unchurched. Many churches today are content with who they are reaching. Many churches dont want the “trash” that come with lots in the community. I have this passion and vision to plant a church here in Van Buren that operates to seek out those who have given up on church, have to much “garbage” to come to church, who are broken, hurting and an outcast. Mosaic Van Buren would be a place made up of shattered, broken people who come together and serve an amazing God creating a beautiful thing for Jesus. Just as the word Mosaic is defined.

Summer Reading List

7-Practices-of-Effective-Ministry-9781590523735-md 12-essential-skills-for-great-preaching-second-edition-wayne-mcdill-hardcover-cover-art 9781590525142 Books

Crazylove Planb Radical-books Rainer_and_Geiger_Simple_Church_sm 41PCtKs88vL__SL500_SS75_

 

 

I am usually not much of a reader, but I have recently found a new appreciation for reading and here is what I have picked so far for my summer reading list.

Weird by Craig Groeschel

Crazy by Francis Chan

Plan B by Pete Wilson

Simple Church by Thom Rainer & Eric Geiger

Radical Together by David Platt

The Millennials by Thom & Jess Rainer

12 Essential Skills for Great Preaching by Wayne McDill

Communicating for A Change by Andy Stanley

7 Practices of Effective Ministry by Andy Stanley

What is on your reading list this summer?  What other books do you recommend that I put on my reading list?

 

Because People Matter

Kris

Influential Genereation

Books

Just food for thought-

In Thom and Jess Rainers’ book “The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation,” They suggest that the Millennial Generation (those born between 1980-2000) has become the most influential generation.  Over 78 millions births occurred between 1980-2000.

What does this mean?  This means that people from the ages of 11 years old to 31 years old have surpassed the Baby Boomers and have become the leading influence in America today.

What are you doing to reach this generation?  Churches can not afford to miss out on the opportunity to reach this generation.  I believe that if we are going to reach the world for Christ, we must start with reaching the Millennial Generation.

 

Share your thoughts!!!

 

Because People Matter-

Kris

iPad and the Pulpit

6a01053628087b970c0133f40ec894970b-800wi 

With the release of the iPad 2 a few months ago, the buzz among pastors recently has been about utilizing the iPad from the pulpit.

Many pastors have found that the iPad proves very useful for sermon preparation as well as delivering the sermon from the pulpit using the iPad.

I have an iPad myself and I can see where it would become very useful for the pulpit.

Various programs such as EverNote, GoodReader and Dropbox make it possible to store and access all study and sermon notes by organinzing them in folders with a central location accesable via any internet access.

What about you? How do you prepare your sermons? What "tools" do you use? Have you ever thought of utilizing an iPad within the pulpit?

Share your thoughts!!!!

Because People Matter
Kris

$86,400.00

How would you like to have a bank
that just gave you money. This bank deposits $86,400 a day into your
account. This money is free for you to use. Free for you to spend
however you want. Sound good?


However,
at the close of business each day you balance is reset to zero and you
lose whatever was left in their for that day. The remaining balance
each day does not carry over to the next. But at the beginning of each
day a new deposit of $86,400 is deposited. There are never any
overdraft fees with this bank. There is no limitations on you as to how
you can spend this money.


What
would you do with your money then? What would you do each day with
$86,400 to spend? Would you withdrawal all of it and invest it in your
future or would you go blow it all where ever you could? At the end of
each day, would you have anything to show for the money that you spent?


Who wouldn't want a bank like this one? Who wouldn't want free money? Who wouldn't invest it in their future?

Believe it or not, you have an account at a similar bank.
You
have access to the Bank of Time. You are given 86,400 seconds each and
everyday to use however you want. You can invest it or you can blow it.
At the end of each day the remaining time is lost never to be given
back. At the start of each day you are given a new deposit of 86,400
seconds to use for that day.


You
will never have overdraft charges. You will never be charged withdrawal
fees. You are free to spend your time however you choose.


The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time and a season for everything.

Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verses 1-8

1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under
Heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a
time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear
down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time
to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to
gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to
search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to
speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time
for peace.


I
leave you with this thought for today: If you would take $86,400 and
invest it in your future, why wont you take 86,400 seconds that you are
given daily and do the same?